Back to the Brush

For far too long "Suzie's Power" has been sitting on my easel collecting dust. She was the first oil painting I had tackled in a long time, as I had been focused more on acrylics since early 2008. When I started painting her last summer, my oil technique was rusty, heavily influenced by an acrylic hand and expectations. Fortunately, oil is forgiving and I eventually (sort of) found my groove.

But no sooner had I reacquainted myself with oil's fluid blend-friendly ways, we had to relocate. I brought my art supplies with me when we moved into my cousin's basement in Maple Ridge. However, I lacked the time and inspiration to put paint to brush, and brush to canvas. For the next few months I found myself consumed with the movie. Not to mention, I also had to start and finish my sketchbook project. (And I thought a flip book would be quick n' easy. Ha!)

Finally there came a day when I decided to give SP some well-deserved love. Alas, I grabbed the wrong friggin' brush, mixed a bad batch of colour, and bunged everything up. Ugh. She was hideous. A beautiful soul, scarred by thick maroon lines. So I set SP back in the corner for the next few months to dry and delay.

Once we moved to our new Vancouver home, I rested my easel beside our bed. There SP taunted me. For the last few months she has been the last thing I see every night as I go to sleep, and first thing I see every morning.

"Fix me!", she would whisper.

Once I had more or less organized our new place, I thought it might be time to get back into painting. But instead of SP, I opted for a mango liquor bottle. A small, quick project, hoping it would be like kindling to ignite the flame.

I finished the bottle, and then considered tackling SP again. But it was clear that I needed some gesso to fix up my mess. (For you non-painterly folk, gesso is a thick white base that is used to prime a canvas and can also be used as a painter's substitute for 'Liquid Paper'. If only someone could invent an undo button. I can't tell you how often I mess up and then think, "Shit! Undo!" Ah, this computer age we live in...)

In the meantime I started a second project. A small 40th birthday gift for my SIL. I finished 2/3's of it. Then amidst a cleaning frenzy, I lost my painter's spark. I don't know if it fell behind my dresser or got bagged up with some old clothes, but it left me... or perhaps it was simply transferred to larger canvases - namely walls. I took on the task of painting our kitchen and our bathroom. My artistic sensibilities found a new purpose as I put a lot of energy into decorating, and making this new home a place where I actually wanted to live. A couple more months passed. (Needless to say, we gave Cheryl something else for her birthday instead.)

All the while, Suzie's Power hung out in our bedroom. The more things I checked off my to-do list, the louder her voice became, "Fix me, dammit! You can't ignore me forever." And I couldn't. The guilt hung over my head. She has so much potential, but instead there she sat, unfinished. Her botched shiny face attracting a light layer of dust and cat hair. I promised to get her some gesso soon.

But I lied. Despite the best of intentions to buy some while wandering the artsy Granville Island, I spent far too much time pouring over veggies and flowers in the public market, that Opus had closed by the time I made it there. (Okay, okay... To be honest, I didn't actually make it all the way to Opus. My shoes were giving me blisters - a springtime blessing I always seem to endure - and I knew they'd probably be closed by the time I hobbled over there, since it was already after 6. So I decided to spare my tender tootsies and headed back to the car instead.)

When we returned home, SP gave me a disappointed look for not planning my island visit better. "Why didn't you go to Opus first, dummy? Wasn't that the whole point? What is wrong with you woman?!"

I knew I had to make her a priority. The next week, while Jim n' I were out n' about, I dragged him into an art supply store and grabbed a tube of gesso. Back home, as I walked in the door, Suzie's Power blew me a kiss, "Finally! You've done good."

Unfortunately, the gesso sat in my purse for a few days and then on top of my other art supplies as I became distracted by more pressing household chores, like taxes, cleaning off the balcony, and trying to start a little flower garden (which I suppose wasn't so pressing).

Suzie's Power stifled her scream to a defeated sigh, "For f*ck's sake...."

Then a few days ago, I got a groupon offer for half off at Raw Canvas. It's this super neat sounding place where you can paint, while noshing on all organic eats n' vino. Sounds like a good time. I was tempted to buy myself a coupon.... but then I realized that if I want to paint while sipping on a glass of wine, I can do that right here for free! I don't need to no darn coupon. (Although I still think it's a cool idea with the whole socializing factor.)

I went into our bedroom and woke SP by gently wiping the dust off her face. I grabbed my easel, paints n' pallet and headed outside. With our balcony now cleaned off, it's the perfect little open air studio. I set up my easel so SP is blocking my view of our garbage and recycling. Above her I can see the mountains on the north shore. Crows watch from a nearby tree. Below, I can hear people speaking in different languages or with a variety of accents. (I don't know why our apartment/Vancouver's multiculturalism excites me so much, but it really, really does. I love that through our bathroom vents, I can often hear little children playing in some language I don't understand.)

I gessoed over the ugly patches, shaving down SP's silhouette, and redefining her with new contours and colours. While still very much a work in progress, you can see her beautiful potential beginning to shine once again. We smiled at each other as I made careful strokes, my oil-based groove hitting it's stride.

Oh my goodness, I can't even articulate how good it feels to be painting her again. Why did it take me so long?