"It is not a man's job to take life...."

Said the murder.

I read this article on the CBC News the other day, "Manslaughter not option in abortion shooting: judge".

Apparently, murderer Scott Roeder was hoping for a lesser charge of manslaughter after killing abortion doctor, George Tiller in his church, last May.

Yes, I'll say that again... he killed him in his effing CHURCH! And then he threatened two ushers with his gun when they tried to intervene.

Tiller is quoted as saying, "It is not a man's job to take life.  It is our heavenly father's. He is our creator."

The irony leaves me at a loss for words.

Mr. Roeder was hoping for a manslaughter conviction instead of first degree murder, because he believes that his actions were justified, considering that others' lives were at risk if left in the hands of Dr. Tiller. (Even though abortions are legal in Kansas.)

While reading this article, I couldn't help but be reminded of the haunting lyrics of Ani Difranco who penned a powerful song entitled, Hello Birmingham. The song is about Dr. Barnett Slepian who ran an abortion clinic in Buffalo, New York. In Oct. '98, after returning home from synagogue, he was shot and killed through his kitchen window as he prepared macaroni and cheese.

I think Ani is a brilliant artist and I absolutely love her music. This is just one of many of her songs that I find really sticks in my head. But it's certainly not due to a catchy MTV hook. Instead, it's the power of her words. In just a few short lines, she manages to paint some pretty unforgettable imagery.

She sings...

It was just one shot

Through the kitchen window

It was just two miles from here

If you fly like a crow

A bullet came to visit a doctor

In his one safe place

A bullet ensuring the right to life

Whizzed past his kid and his wife

And knocked the glasses 

Right off of his face

And the blood poured off the pulpit

Yeah the blood poured down the picket lines

Yeah, the hatred was immediate

And the vengeance was divine

So they went and stuffed god

Down the barrel of a gun

And after him

They stuffed his only son

While the homemade video is kinda shaky and therefore, slightly annoying, (although I do think the addition of Martin Luther King at the beginning is a nice touch) the song is certainly worth a listen.

 

Roses and Thorns Jan 23 - 29

Ho hum.... where to begin?

Rose
I finally finished my painting this evening, and I think the more I look at it, the more I like it.

Usually by the time I'm done painting something, I'm totally sick of it. I don't even want to hang it on the wall (but I do.) However, this painting was different. I really wasn't in love with it from the start, and yet, it somehow charmed its way into my heart as I put on the finishing touches over these last few days. In fact, I'd almost consider keeping it, if it wasn't a birthday gift for a friend.

It's funny that I should be so attracted to it because the subject matter isn't "me" at all. It's very "her" (which is obviously why I painted it as a gift). In any case, I sure hope she likes it too.

I'll post some pics of my paintings after I mail it off and it's no longer a surprise.

Thorn
Further rewrites. I hope we can finally come to a consensus soon. Sigh.

Jim was re-reading the reader's notes this afternoon, and he pointed out that there are a quite a number of things they suggested that we should do with the story, which were elements that Jim n' I originally had, but were told to revise.

For instance, during our last draft we were told, "Donovan should be way more excited in the coffee scene." Now we're hearing, "Donovan should be more cool and matter-of-fact in the coffee scene." Arrrgh... you mean, make it like we had it a couple months ago?!


So yeah, that's definitely a friggin' thorn.

*deep breath*

But we'll get there....

Rose
I had a wonderful, wonderful three hour chat with one of my oldest and goodest friends the other day.  Heather and I haven't spoken (with the exception of email, of course) since her visit last July. Crazy! I can't believe it's been so long! And yet, it always seems to be that way. Our phone calls are few and far between, but when we finally speak, we never miss a beat.

I don't know if it's because of our shared humour or common perspectives on life, but she is one of those very rare friends that sets the bar frighteningly high for all others. I love her to pieces.

Her call was especially well-timed as it came only a half hour after our crappy conference call on Wednesday. I spent the next three hours catching up and laughing, and devising future career plans to apprentice for the shaky lady. A woman who aggressively stalks and chases after customers for change in Ottawa grocery store parking lots.

After our call, I came bouncing back into the living room completely refreshed and revitalized. Meanwhile, poor Jim had spent those same three hours sitting alone with his thoughts. I think Jim really needs a Heather in his life too.

Thorn
Jim has been sick all week with a nasty throat infection, and I feel bad for the guy. He use to get them a couple times a year, but since working from home, he's been very, very good and has hardly had any at all. (Hey, there's a lot to be said about not getting out much!)

On a brighter note, he went to the clinic this morning and got some antibiotics. He did his best to try and fight it off on his own, but those throat infections are too stubborn for the likes of mere salt water and lozenges.

Poor Jim.... (And yes, I realize that's the second time I've said "poor Jim" in this post. He's really had a rough week.)

Rose
Well, since I wrote last week's roses n' thorns before my big night out on Friday with Lara, I think I should be allowed to include it in this week's grouping. I don't need to say much else about the evening, because I think I pretty much said it all already. Suffice to say, there were so many roses that night, the evening was just one big bouquet.

Thorn
The dolphin slaughter in Denmark. The news was originally sent to me in an email from a friend, and it included about a dozen very disturbing images. The slaughter is pretty disgusting and has no purpose except to prove a right of passage for Danish men living in that particular region. I don't know how torturing and killing hundreds of endangered species every year is supposed to signify manhood? But what do I know anyway? The link provided above goes to an online petition. I hope you'll consider signing it.

Rose
Last weekend I hosted a belated birthday dinner for Jim's dad. It was a very nice low-key evening, except that I prepared waaaay too much food. My "best" bruschetta, mango-avocado salsa and nachos, almond-fig brie, a shrimp ring, honey garlic wings, spinach dip with bread, a rainbow's assortment of veggies with dill dip and garlic hummus, a variety of crackers, cheeses, grapes and olives. Then Cheryl brought over a cream cheese pepper jelly spread and some crab dip. Oy. Toooo much foooood!

Some of the dips and cheeses are still sitting in the fridge just waiting to be chucked out. What a waste.

Wait a minute... for a rose, this is starting to sound like a thorn. Ha.

Oh well...  everyone seemed to eat well that night and have a pretty decent time. And Jim n' I tried to eat as much as we could in the days that followed. So yes, in the end the night was a rose. (Except for the waste in the days that followed. That probably counts as a thorn.)

Thorn
This shouldn't be a thorn, but it is.... My mom sent me a few pictures of my nephew David tonight, and it made me sad. He looks like such a little boy now. This series of three photos are my favourite of the blurry bunch, as you kinda get to see the lil' guy in action. I think I need to make a visit home soon.

Rose
I finally got my hair cut. Layers n' bangs. Exciting!!

Thorn
As my hairdresser combed through my long wet hair, I somehow managed to break two of her combs. She said she has broken combs before... but never two on one head. Ha ha. Apparently it's because my hair is so thick... but I'm gonna blame the cheap combs. ;)

Rose
Last night we went to the Summerland Gallery to check out our friend Jeremy's "Looking Into Ice" exhibit. It was super cool and very inspiring to see him make the leap from a part-time passion to a public event. You can check out a slideshow of his beautiful gallery photos here. Very awesome stuff!!

No more thorns. That's all she wrote!

Social Media Revolution

Some of you might have already seen this. I thought it was pretty interesting...

Still Climbing That Mountain

So.

We had our meeting this morning and it wasn't quite as expected.

To be honest, we were kinda hoping that our producers would side with the readers who were in favour of the way things are.

So, if Reader One says "Don't touch the first act" even though Reader Two felt that we needed to rearrange a few beats, then we'd just agree with Reader One and leave it as is.

And if Reader Two seemed to like the overall tone, but Reader One felt that the conflict needed to be heightened even further, then we'd just stick with pleasing Reader Two. (BTW, we're not using Reader Three's report. TC is pretty pissed that he even has to pay her for it. Told ya it was bad...)

Anyhoo... as you can imagine it was sort of an "ugh" moment when we learned that our producers want to incorporate pretty much all feedback provided. Therefore, instead of siding with whoever likes things as they are, we're going to be switching around act one and adding greater conflict everywhere possible.

Their concern is that when you go out to a casting agent or an actor, you only get one shot. No one will ever read the same script twice, so we gotta be sure to get it right the first time.

On the positive side, both readers feel that we're very close. Everything we need is already on the page - it just needs to be rearranged/heightened a bit.

Of course when you start talking about "rearranging", ultimately it means writing yet another draft. Because as soon as you swap one scene for another, it totally messes with the order of everything else. So this won't exactly be the three days of tweaks we were hoping for. It might actually mean another round of meetings in Vancouver.

Sigh.

Personally, I don't mind... much. But I'm a writer and I kinda enjoy the process and love the challenge. I'm sick, I know....

However, to quote poor Jim, "I just want to move forward already."

No doubt.

Oh well, it is what it is. As long as it doesn't affect the overall integrity of the story, of course.

I suppose there's some comfort in knowing that this ongoing process is completely normal. It's just because we have the self-imposed deadline to shoot this year, that it makes us all the more anxious.

However, les producers did said that Jim n' I are moving through the process faster than they're use to. (Since attaching our producers, we've had a very ambitious 5 months. Normally the development process can take years.) So, I guess that's a good thing... They've also said on numerous occasions that we've really proven that we have what it takes with our quick turn around time and quality of writing.

It's just too bad we have to turn things around again. ;)

Actually, Jim is currently reading a huge book he got for Christmas on the step-by-step making of all four Indiana Jones movies, and it provides in-depth details on how even the great Steven Speilberg and George Lucas struggled with the same thing.  Countless scenes in the original Indy scripts were gradually removed over consecutive drafts, making the end result completely different than the story they began with.

Boy, I'm certainly demystifying the whole movie-making process for you all, aren't I? Ha. It's tons of hard work followed by frustration and compromise. Nothing glamourous about it.

Speaking of nothing glamourous, our only other concern is that money is getting tight because our development funding is about to end shortly, and technically another rewrite would classify us as still "in development". Therefore, the forecast for our pre-production financing will be slightly delayed.

Again, it is what it is. Money always has a way of finding us, and I'm sure we'll get by just fine during the "in-between" time. The reality is we haven't had to sacrifice much at all up until this point. So I'm willing to reduce my weekly bauble allowance for a month or two in order to pay the rent. After all, it could be much worse! George Lucas spent up to two years sleeping on other people's couches. So did Quentin Tarantino and Oliver Stone.

Third Report

Just a quickie post on the quickie report we just received.

First of all, it should've arrived early this a.m. at the latest. Instead we got it after 9:30 this evening. When A.S. forwarded it along to us, the tone of her email was a little disappointed. And Jim n' I would have to agree...

While the overall report was very complimentary, the review was super vague and wishy-washy without any real specific constructive criticism. This reader did a poor rush job, and it shows. Jim n' I were saying that we hope she isn't paid as much as the other two.

And once again, there was more conflicting feedback.

Sigh.

While She Who Hates Everything complained that some scenes were too expositional, (something we were encouraged to do in this most recent draft, I might add... as previous drafts have been accused of being too vague), Reader 3 felt that our story was too subtle. (Again, I think it's because she didn't spend the time to read it thoroughly like she was asked - and paid - to do. A few of her left-field questions left us scratching our heads.)

And yet, even though she felt our story was too subtle, she added that's what makes our writing so elegant and evocative, and adds an intriguing element of mystery.

Okay... so which is it? Too subtle? Too expositional?

Honestly... Never ask the opinion of three different people, because you're only going to get three different answers.

While I'm trying to stay open, because we really want this last draft to be the best that it can be, I have to admit that it's frustrating when you're getting such a barrage of conflicting feedback. I think the only thing we can do at this point is trust our collective gut, because ultimately Jim, les producers and I have final say on what we submit to our Donovans and Telefilm.

Actually, maybe this won't be such a quickie post after all, because I just remembered something else I wanted to mention....

So earlier today, instead of sitting around the house all stir-crazy waiting for the third n' final report, I decided to go out for a walk. It's been unseasonably warm, so I spent some time sitting on a bench beside the pond, writing in my journal.

When I was done writing, I wasn't exactly itching to be anywhere, so I thought that perhaps I'd flip back and read a couple of my old entries. I almost never read through my journals, and I think I really should. It's interesting to reflect on where you were at different points in your life, and how those experiences impact where you are today.

Anyhow, so I opened my journal to a random page. And what are the odds that I should open it to January 26th, 2009 - exactly one year ago today? Because I believe that there's no such thing as coincidence, I was more than curious to see what the Last Year Me had to say.

As it turns out, on Jan 26th of last year, I had done a rune reading for myself. (That year I had received a wonderful Christmas gift of handmade runes made by a friend of mine. I had never used runes before, but because I'm such an earthy person and collect rocks n' all that, it really made for a perfect fit in terms of divination tools. I really love my runes. But I digress...)

The rune I had pulled from the bag was Berkana, meaning Growth.

A quick summary of the meaning for that rune (at least according to my Book of Runes) is, "Dispense resistance to accomplish your work. Motives must be cleared and controlled, with the help of others. This calls for modesty, patience, fairness and generosity."

On that day, my interpretation of this advice was, "Be open to the constructive criticism from our friends as it will help us to grow as writers and as people. Their input will allow us to make our script stronger than before."

I couldn't help but be amazed at how fascinating the parallel was. At this time last year we had our friends n' family reading our draft and providing their feedback so we could make any necessary adjustments before we ("we" meaning Jim) starting pitching to producers.

A year later, we have our producers, and now professional readers are reviewing our script before we start pitching to actors and applying to Telefilm.

I think this January 26th, the same advice applies. Even though we're getting exhausted of reworking the script, we have to keep pushing forward until we've achieved what we've set out to accomplish -- a pitchable draft. We need to be modest and patient, and graciously accept the help of others in order to ensure that we're on the right path.

If only the others could simply agree upon which path it is that we need to take.

Reader Reports

Well, two of three reader reports came in today. In general, the consensus was that they both really liked the story and felt that there wasn't much work required to polish up the script to make it camera-ready.

That is where the consensus ended.

I suppose it just goes to show how art is completely subjective. Whether it's a book, a band or a movie... beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone is gonna agree.

Naturally, this makes it a little difficult to determine which notes we should use and which we should ignore. I guess ultimately it comes down to this being our script, and therefore, it's our choice which adjustments we want to make. (FYI: "Our" also encompasses our producers, but they're pretty much always on the same page as Jim n' I, so no worries there...)

Here are just a few examples of the conflicting feedback we received....

* The first reader thought that act one was perfect as is. She more or less said, "Don't touch it."

* Meanwhile, the second reader thought that a couple of the scenes should be added or moved around in the first act. He even thought that one or two beats should be moved further into the second. While I'm not completely opposed, I'm also not really sure how I feel about it either...  Especially since the first reader said, don't touch the first act.

* The first reader is really pushing us to make the movie a lot darker and more intense. Most of her suggestions were to increase the conflict in every possible scene, to the point where I personally wouldn't find Donovan to be a very likable protagonist at all. Basically she wants us to make him into a self-loathing asshole, and cut out any and all sentimentality in the script.

For example, in one of her notes, she said that she wanted Donovan to say "F*ck you" and physically body-check Finnley, instead of just smashing his window. Since we really need to avoid an R rating, (for many different reasons that I won't get into),  I can already tell you right now that this is one suggestion we're not going use. No f-bombs are going to be dropped in our movie.

She had a few other similar suggestions that would seriously change the tone of the film as well. And while I certainly respect her opinion and am open to making some changes... in a handful of scenes, there's just no way. I don't mind if Don edges a little more on the self-loathing side when wallowing in all his regret, but as for transforming him into this really dark hateful protagonist like she is suggesting... I don't know. I can't see it happening.

* Meanwhile, the second reader seemed to really like the tone of the film, and thought that Donovan's attitude and personality was perfect as is.

Sigh.

I guess we'll have to wait n' see what the third reader has to say. The third reader will be fresh, while these first two had already read an earlier version in the fall. They're the ones referred to as "She Who Hates Everything" and another toughy, who doesn't have a special behind-his-back nickname.

Actually, even though She Who Hates Everything did point out the things she liked and mentioned a couple times that she really enjoyed our story, I still can't help but wonder given her harsh reputation and all the constant pushing to be darker, darker, darker, if she's a very happy person in real life? Know what I mean?

Her "f*ck you" attitude also comes across a lot in her report writing. When there's a scene or a line she thinks should be changed, she's extremely blunt and fiercely cutting. Without sounding defensive -- because obviously, I'm totally open to constructive criticism, and believe it or not, I do have very thick skin -- I will say that sometimes her critiques almost come across as unprofessional. I think you should be able to articulate why you would like to see something changed without being borderline insulting.

That being said, it seriously blows my mind that she actually enjoyed the script... because you certainly wouldn't know it the way she chooses to express herself. Ouch!  (I guess that explains why she has a special nickname. Ha!)

Oh well...

So, like I was sayin', we have one more report to look forward to, and then we meet with our producers on Wednesday to discuss any last speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace tweaks we want to make over the next week or two, before moving forward to cast our Donovan.

Speaking of Don, Jim n' I watched "Before The Devil Knows Your Dead" last night, because it was the last film that Finney was in. It was filmed in 2006, so it'll be four years old by the time we get to go to camera. We just wanted to see how he's lookin' these days. After all, it's been a long time since he starred in Erin Brockovitch and Big Fish.

And while he's looking just a little older than how we remember him, (then again, aren't we all?), he's still  how we imagine our Donovan, and of course he performed his part very well.

Anyhoo... so that's the latest. I'll let you know what reader number three has to say one we get his/her report.

Night On Da Town

I met up with my friend Lara on Friday night for a couple drinks n' appies at Doc's after work. What started off as a casual evening of catching up and girl talk, gradually turned into a big night on the town. (Well, big for me anyway...)

Cosmos and vinos and Coronas - Oh my! My poor liver. So much for that cleanse. I'm amazed that I managed to recover so nicely the morning after. Of course, I was careful to drink lots of water before bed, and even though the waitress kept delivering a parade of refills, courtesy of who knows?,  I ended up abandoning a couple of them around the bar. When I'm done, I'm done. Praying to the porcelain goddess is not my style.

So, after a few hours at Doc Willoughby's, we thought it might be fun to see what was happening over at the Blue Gator.

As some of you may know, my first job in Kelowna was waitressing at the Gator. A gig I held for all of 5 months until I was finally able to trade in my drink tray for a marketing job with benefits.

While I have many fond memories of slinging drinks at Jersey's back in Ontari-ari-ario, I've never had much nostalgia for the BG. The money wasn't nearly as good, because a lot of people were there for a cheap night out -- nurse their drinks and groove to the band. (They didn't charge cover when I worked there, like they do now.)

It was also a pain to work there because at the time the Gator had some very newby owners, a married couple, who really didn't have two sparks of common sense to share between them.  She was an accountant with a chip on her shoulder. He was an ass who worked in PR with Air Canada, and used his severance money to buy the bar. As a result of their shitty management skills, they were eventually forced to sell. In only 6 months, they had actually fired every single waiter/waitress/bartender they had -- a total of almost 50! -- present company excluded.

They loved me. I have no idea why? I even insulted them during the interview. I told them that I thought their advertising was absolutely horrible. Then I went on for about five or ten minutes explaining why.

Well.... they asked!! Don't ask if you don't want to know!

The problem was they "designed" all their ads, flyers, etc. themselves using Word.  *shudder*  Worse yet, they wrote everything using WordArt! *double shudder*  And THEN, they stretched each line out so it was super thin n' squished, in order fit more words on the page. *shuddering off my chair and convulsing on the floor* HIDEOUS! All that was missing were a few starbursts. ;)

Anyhow, at the time, I figured I had nothing to lose. Waitressing jobs are a dime a dozen. But for whatever reason they appreciated my honesty, and hired me on the spot.

Alright, so the point of this tangent is that while I didn't love working there... I did love the music. It was the only perk to the job. Live blues every single night of the week. Some evenings the place was so dead, that it was just me and the band for hours on end. Even so, I always clapped and sometimes shouted out requests. One group, The Duotones, told me afterwards that I was the best audience they ever had, because I was so attentive and always clapped after every song. Ha.

Well... if music is good, then I think you should let them know!

I remember that night, because I even had time to sketch their picture while they played. :)

Ah yes, good times at the Gator. And now, getting back to more recent good times...

So, Lara n' I headed over there, and as it turns out, one of the bands that always ruled the joint was playing - Sherman Doucette and Tankful of Blues. 

And, can you believe it (because I certainly couldn't), that Sherman and the gang remembered me!? I worked there for only 5 months almost 7 years ago, during a time when there was a ridiculous turnover with new staff every week. Not to mention, I had blond hair back then...

And yet, during intermission Sherman stopped me to say hello, and went on about how I always wrote their name on the blackboard real nice. Then, the rest of the band came around and they all said the same thing. I kept saying, "I can't believe you guys remember me!" To which they all replied, "How could we forget you!?"

How could they forget me? I dunno... pretty easily, I would think.

Although, I did take pride in my signs...  I liked making them all colourful n' fancy. I think I actually complained to my boss when I first started working there because they only had white chalk. In fact, I might've bought that box of coloured chalk myself. I mean, c'mon? White chalk? Boring...

Now that I think of it, even the last time I went back to visit Jersey's, (where I worked for about two years), a couple of the regulars told me that I really needed to do something about the signs. Sure enough, someone had quickly chicken-scratched "Pizza Night" on the board, with no care or attention to penmanship.

Anyhow, I probably always made elaborate signs when I was waitressing because I was bored, and it was the only creative aspect to my job. But, I can't tell you how nice it feels to be remembered years later for something I would've considered so small and insignificant. :)

So, that little moment was kind of a highlight to my night.

Well, that, and dancing. I never get to go out dancing. And it's not like I want to hit Gotchas... or even Flashbacks for that matter, which has become way too trendy with the younger folk. Jeez... wasn't Flashbacks always meant for an older crowd, or am I just at that age where I'm now older than the older crowd? Ha ha.  Actually, I've heard that it's become really hip with the 19 year olds, so I'm sure it's not just me being old.... although I realize that being "old" still definitely plays a part.

Finally, a huge highlight was my company. Lara is such a blast and we're really on the same wavelength. And as everyone knows, a good time is always made ten times as fun when you're with the right people. We'll definitely have to do it again sometime.

At the end of the night, I went to grab a cab at the same time as another couple. They were going to let me have it, but I offered to share it with them, if they were heading in the same direction.  They accepted my offer and the girl gave me an extra bottle of water from her purse, (unopened of course), which I thought was very sweet. They didn't need to go too far, so when the cabbie dropped them off, they both stuffed a bill into my palm when they exited the cab. I didn't bother looking to see how much they gave me. I assumed it was two fives, since their fare was under $7.

I had a wonderful chat with the driver the rest of the way home. Such a super nice guy. He was telling me about how a lot of drivers he works with complain when asked to assist people with their groceries. He sounded very empathetic about how seniors struggle with arthritis and other ailments, and how just a little help with their groceries can go a long way. Most of them can't afford to tip, but that's not the point. It's about respect and doing unto others. He'd rather take the time to do the right thing than leave them stranded at the curb. Anyhow, I thought he was very sweet. He even waited to make sure I got into my building okay before pulling away.

Again, it's the little things...

But, getting back to my earlier point... when he pulled up to my building, my fare was just under $20. I un-scrunched the bills in my hand to find $25. The perfect amount for my fare, plus tip.

What a great night! :) I really should get out more often.

Roses and Thorns Jan 16 - 22

Rose
After some more long nights, we wrapped up our final tweaks. And again, not to pat ourselves on the back, but while tweaking, Jim n' I came up with some really great new stuff. I'm loving the extra bits of conflict we've added to a couple scenes. We just passed it off to les producers, who seem very happy with it, and as of yesterday, they have sent it on to their pro readers again.

To refresh your memories, pro readers are folks who use to approve scripts for Telefilm funding. Now they get paid to give people constructive criticism before they try to apply. I'm also sure I mentioned that the two readers who read our last draft were the toughest TC & AS could find, and that one is known as "She who hates everything". Lucky for us, they both really enjoyed our last script.

Since then, we've incorporated their feedback, as well as a whole bunch of revisions we (meaning Jim n' I, and our producers) came up with on our own. I'm hoping that if they were so flattering about the last draft, that this version will blow their socks off. (Not that our script is necessarily a blow your socks off kind of movie... I'm just using that to illustrate a point. ;)

Thorn
Luna chewed through my headphones... again. Stinkin' brat. I already took advantage of The Source's warrantee last time. (Yes, they will replace you headphones if your cat chews through the cord, believe it or not.) So I guess I'm gonna have to pick up a new pair. Not a big deal, just a nuisance. She doesn't chew on any other cords in the house, (thankfully), but she can't resist the thin n' stringy style of headphones. It's my own fault for leaving them on the dining room table. I know she can't help herself.

Rose
To increase ROI, I've been asked to convert our DE script into a novel, which our investor will take to his publishing contact. This is exciting on so many levels!

I've always wanted to be an author more than a screenwriter. (Not that I haven't loved the process.) I had started writing my first novel around the same time Jim began work on DE, but then he asked me to write it with him, so my novel got shelved. (No pun intended.)

While I really enjoy the screenplay writing process, there are a lot of rules. Beside the challenges posed by page limits, one of the biggest differences is that in a script you must always show - never tell. So, in other words, you can't get into your character's head and describe what s/he is thinking.

For example, in a novel, you could get away with saying something like:
Donovan's eyes shift away from his friend's intense stare and sink to the bottom of his coffee cup. Finnley's comment had left a bad taste in his mouth, and yet he knew that he was right. He wasn't the man Jasmine had married. Oh, what he wouldn't give just to turn back the clock and make things right! But it was too late. Fin's honest words stung like coarse salt rubbed in a infected wound... a wound that hadn't healed in thirty years. 

Meanwhile, in a script:
Donovan's eyes shift.

I enjoy playing with words, describing a character's thoughts, and being long-winded (in case you couldn't tell), so I think the opportunity to write a novel should be kinda fun. (That is if the publishing contact actually wants to publish it? Sounds pretty promising anyway....) Best of all, for the most part, all the hard work is already done. The story has been written... now I just have to embellish on it and maybe add scenes back in that we've had to cut from the script.

And in case you're wondering, I will be taking this project on as a solo endeavour, as Jim will be busy story-boarding and doing his director thing.

Like I was saying, very exciting! Of course, I've really got my work cut out for me, because they'd ideally like to publish the book around the same time the movie comes out, which would probably be sometime in the latter half of next year. (Hopefully.) So yeah, while the script writing is pretty much done, there's still a LOT of writing left to do.

'Kay, that was a long rose. I'll try to keep my other ones shorter.

Thorn
THIS!  I'm not going to get into it because it made me sick, and I want to give you the option to decline from hearing about things that might put a damper on your day. Simply put, it deals with U.S. Global Exotics and the insane cruelty to animals that goes on behind the scenes, before the little creatures are sold to pet stores.  Some people are real mother fuckers. (Pardon my language, but they are.)

Rose
Even though our final draft is currently in the hands of pro readers (again, fingers crossed they still love it), we just got the go-ahead confirmation that once we're ready in the next month or so, we will receive the necessary financing to go after our lead actor.

To elaborate, Canadian film funding is obviously highly competitive. Only about four projects in BC get regional production funding through Telefilm each year. (Although there are still a couple other sources we could try.) Anyhow, our strategy has been to use one source of funding to secure an actor, and then when Telefilm's new fiscal year begins in April, we will approach them armed with an awesome script and a reputable actor attached. Our producers are very confident (cocky, even!) that this will definitely get us the Telefilm money we need to enter production this fall. (Or, again, at the very least, revenue from other source.)

Although I wasn't really worried about getting the money to start approaching our Donovans (I honestly believed it would all fall into place one way or another), it is exciting to know that yes, the ball is actually rolling along as planned.

Thorn
Okay, don't get me wrong.... I loooove the sunshine and this warmer weather is awesome n' all, but seriously! This is January! We had one week of snow, and then we were back into the pluses. If we don't get another dump of snow before Spring, we're in for a crispy summer. Not to mention the serious problems we're having with the pine beetles! Don't we need at least a week of -40'C to kill them?

I'm including a couple photos of pine beetle destruction for my Ontario readers...

Gross, huh?

Rose
Something else happened, but Jim won't let me tell anyone because it's not officially a done deal yet.

Okay, fair enough.

All he'll let me say is, "There have been some surprising developments that we couldn't have anticipated, that will definitely be helpful down the road."

This actually applies to two things that have happened over the last two weeks. One of 'em, I wouldn't have told you about anyway because it's definitely not a done deal. But the second, I really wanted to share, because it's kind of a little miracle... but yeah, like I said, I'm not allowed. Maybe in a few months. ;)

At the very least, we have A LOT to smile about these days, and I've lost count of how many times we've just stopped to marvel to one another that, "Man! We are SO friggin' blessed!!!" We truly are.

Thorn
The handle on my toilet broke this week. But then we went to Home Hardware and Jim got the part and fixed it for me, which took him all of two seconds. Not really a big thorn, but as you can tell, I'm running low.

Actually, maybe there's a little more to this thorn...

Here at home, I use the "public" bathroom because it has more counter space and cupboards for all my girly stuff. This leaves Jim with our en-suite bathroom. Even though Jim has less stuff, his bathroom is still pretty cluttered with his manly things, because it's got probably less than half the counter/cupboard space than I do.

So when we bought a new handle for my toilet, Jim picked up a shelving unit for his bathroom at Home Hardware. Y'know, one of those things that stand in behind your toilet with the shelves? Well, he got it home and discovered that there were 18 screws missing. The taped-up box had clearly already been opened, so we figured that's what must've been the problem.

Anyhow, he returned the unit yesterday and picked up another one - an unopened box. Sure enough, he got home and that same package of 18 screws that are supposed to be included were missing again!

I guess you can't blame Home Hardware. It's probably the maker of the lame-o shelving system who missed the screws, not the store, but still.... Since it's the only brand of behind-the-toilet-shelving-system-thingies that HH carries, I'm thinking that when we return it today, we should just go across the street n' see what they have at Rona. So stupid n' frustrating.

BTW, the brand is called "Novel", and they suck.

Rose
I guess it's because we've had so many good things going on, but overall, I really feel great.  I think that in itself is worthy of a rose, because usually there's always something lingering in the back of one's mind... but I'm not stressed or worried or anything... I just feel good.

Amemo Onmottos

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. That's always been one of my mottos.

Okay, perhaps not always...

I know there was probably a point in my life where I usually just expected the worst.

But not these days... It seems that over these last couple weeks I've found myself to be in probably my best frame of mind ever! Really.

I mean, I know I'm always preachin' about positive thinking, but that doesn't stop me from having my own dirty pile of negative thoughts sitting in the hamper.

You might even be familiar with the type of negative nelly-isms I'm talking about. Y'know, those imaginary conversations where you end up telling someone off real good? Sometimes it's for something they've said or done. Other times, they haven't even said or done anything at all - you only expect them to.

You must know the ones I'm talking about... I can't be the only one!

I don't know what triggers these moments? A memory. A rumour. An ignorant remark someone posted on the CBC news website. (That site is rife with them, and now n' then they can really get my blood boiling. Ha! ) Who knows where they come from? But they seem to unexpectedly float in like mini storm clouds, zap up 1% of your energy as you indulge the thought, and then eventually pass through the clear blue skies of your mind again.

So I guess my point is, I don't like them. I hate those occasional bursts of pissiness for silly things that really don't matter in life. I want to spend more time living in the moment, and not filling my plate with the bitter shoulda's and sour gonna's from life's negative buffet.

That's why this year Jim n' I made a pact to avoid talking about anything negative. If someone has been inconsiderate or rude, while it's okay to recognize it, try to quickly move on. In other words, don't dwell. It's far too easy to start going down that road when you see or hear something that really gets your knickers in a knot.

Well, let me tell you! By nipping these icky thorns in the bud, over these last few days I've noticed that I've hardly had a single imaginary conversation in weeks. Like seriously, next to no time spent on negative thinking.

If it's even possible, I almost feel lighter. Calmer. Happier. I've been letting nonsense slide like water off a duck's back, and things are really wonderful. It almost seems that by the power of positive thinking, amazing things have started taking place all around us. Some, I even might dare refer to as, little miracles.

Life is pretty good right now.  Actually, it's not just good.  It sparkles n' shines!

So, while at some points in my life my motto used to be "Expect the worst!" And then I eventually hitched a ride over to "Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst." These days I'm packing my boxes and thinking of a neighbouring up to"Expect the best". It's starting to look pretty darn good.

I'm really starting to believe if you just stay focused on the best in everything and everyone, you'll start finding it all around you.

(Disclaimer: At least that's how I'm feeling today. Ha!)

Je Suis Le Tired

Tres le tired.

So, instead of blogging, I'm just going to sit here, enjoy a glass of wine with mon garcon, and watch As Good as It Gets, which I haven't seen since Paris.

Yes, we brought a portable DVD player with us on our weddingmoon. How lame are we? Paris, city of love, and we're spending our night drinking 3 Euro wine, and eating smelly cheese and baguettes in bed. Well, I guess that's almost romantic, isn't it?

Roses and Thorns Jan 1 - 15

I'm going to skip over the Christmas season and just start fresh with the New Year. So... let's begin.

Rose

Jim n' I had a fabulous NYE at the Midnight in New Orleans Mardi-gras. There was lots to see and do, a good crowd of about 400 people, fabulous bands, lots of dancing, and waaay better drink prices than you'll find at any other function (besides a house party, of course.)

Actually, friends of mine spent a glitzy n' glamourous NYE in Vegas. They paid $170 for their party tickets at an exclusive club with the promise of champagne at midnight -- but by the time the had their turn at the bar, the midnight cutoff had passed and they were charged $16 for their glass of celebratory bubbly! Jeez... what a racket!! Yeah, I think NYE in Kelowna was just fine for me. :)

Thorn

In a word - Haiti. How absolutely heartbreaking!! If I had the means, I would go down and help by digging people out of the rubble or doing whatever I could. We donated a little money, but it doesn't feel like enough. You just want to physically DO something, y'know?

I've heard that the Salvation Army (or it might've been another organization) is either running low or have run out of supplies. So if you can afford to donate even just $5, I really urge you to.

Also, Soft Mocs stores are accepting donations of new or gently used shoes between the 15th - 22nd to send to the people of Haiti. There's a Soft Mocs store in the Orchard Park Mall, so if you have some decent kicks kicking around, please considering donating them.

And finally, my good friend Debbie has recently started her own little business making cards, (check out Fosten Designs on FB), and so she is making two limited edition Valentines Day cards, and is covering the printing costs herself, so that all profits will be sent directly to Doctors Without Borders.

The only thing is, she needs to figure out a way to sell them online without incurring Etsy listing/selling fees or Paypal fees. She really wants 100% of the funds to go directly to the cause. If you've got any ideas on how she can do this, please let me know, or post it on her FB page. T'anks!

Rose

We had a wunderbar (but supa long) meeting with our producers the other day. They were very complimentary on our latest draft. All of their notes included relatively easy changes, like describing things differently, cutting a couple scenes by a page or two, and changing a word here or there. No big deal.

Jim was very confident we could make these changes in a day (HA!), but we decided to tell them to give us about a week. Next step is sending the script off to pro readers (again), and seeing what they have to say. After that, we start contacting our potential Donovan's. *nervously nibbling fingernails*

Thorn

This thorn goes hand-in-hand with my last one - Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh.  No further comment necessary.

Rose

I just finished a 9 day cleanse, and feel pretty good about it. The supplements said 7 - 15 days, so I was going to go for 15, but then I ran out of supplements. Oh well. :P

On top of the milk thistle (for the liver) and detox pills (for digestion), I was to consume no white flour, no dairy, no sugar, no red meats and no alcohol. I was also supposed to eat as much raw food as possible and drink 8 to 10 glasses of water a day. Surprisingly, it only required a few minor adjustments to my regular diet, and so I found the cleanse much easier than I had expected.

I replaced the skim milk for vanilla soy (which, believe it or not, I actually discovered that I like a whole lot better), regular cheese for soy cheese, my usual focaccia buns for no-flour Squirrly bread and whole wheat pitas, coffee (which I usually put milk n' sugar in) for caffeine-free tea, and finally, I omitted my usual glass of vino in the evening for water. Sigh. That was probably the hardest one - no wine and no snacking in the evenings. Sometimes after 9 o'clock, I start getting hungry and like to have a couple slices of cheese or maybe some popcorn.

Anyhow, it didn't kill me and I'm proud of myself, even though I didn't last the full 15 days. In fact, I think I'm going to continue with most of these healthier habits from here on in.

Thorn

I tried to post something to my blog the other day and the article wouldn't format properly. Argh! It really ticked me off, so I just gave up. I didn't want to waste my time messin' around with it. Therefore, I haven't posted anything for the last couple of days because I didn't have time to write a "real" post, and news articles didn't want to paste correctly.

Regardless, I'll finally post the first paragraph of the article and the link. If you're feeling so inclined, you can read the rest of the story for yourself:

Audiences Experience Avatar Blues

(CNN) James Cameron's complete immersive spectacle 'Avatar' may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora....

Okay, personally I didn't think I'd fall in love with Avatar, but I have to say, I really enjoyed it. (Not loved it - but definitely enjoyed it. It's like a modern day Dances with Wolves.) It was visually stunning and must be seen in 3D. Without the 3D, I'm sure you wouldn't get the same awesome experience. But all awesomeness aside, after reading the article, I have to ask... Suicide? Really?

I understand that the make-believe world of Pandora makes Earth look pretty crappy in comparison. But first of all, it's MAKE BELIEVE! And secondly, gawd, open your eyes people! Seriously. There's plenty of beauty to be seen in the real world.

I know that a good movie should provoke waves of emotion, but I have to think that the people who walked away depressed or suicidal mustn't have very fulfilling lives, or else they are mentally unbalanced in some way.

Also, a side note, one of our producers was at Fox studios a week ago, when then guy he was speaking with received a phone call on Avatar's box office figures. Although it hasn't been officially publicized yet, based on it's current benchmark status, it is guaranteed to be the highest grossing movie of all time -- surpassing The Dark Knight, Return of the King, and Titanic. Crazy!

Rose

I found the BEST journal EVER! Remember how I was saying that I really needed a day timer for 2010?  Well, I found this one called The Sacred Journey, and man, it is so perfect, it's spooky! It's chalk full of various exercises for goal setting and connecting with your Higher Self. It even talks about dreams, goals, and desires, and practically quotes some of the stuff I wrote in my earlier post. Uncanny!

I was so thrilled to pieces with it, that I bought one for a friend of mine and sent it off to her. She's going to love, love, love it as much as I do, I'm sure! After only a couple short weeks, I already feel so connected and in tune, it's amazing. What an incredible tool! I just can't say enough about it. This journal was made for me!

Thorn

Well, this isn't really a thorn... but kinda. Earlier today we went out to buy a DVI cord so Jim could hook up a second monitor to his computer. For years he's been saying that he wants two monitors for his computer here at home. He uses two monitors at the office, and finds it very useful. On one, he all has his Photoshop tools and reference images. On the other, he draws his illustrations. Since he's going to have to start story-boarding soon, the need for a second monitor has quickly increased.

Anyhoo, Jim purchased a used monitor from the office, and the Help Desk gentleman said that in order to hook it up, he'd need a DVI cord, which should run us around $15. Not too shabby.

So since we had to do some banking, we popped in next door to Futureshop to take a look-see. And get this -- they wanted SIXTY effing dollars for that little cord! Sixty! The sales guy candidly admitted that they charge a premium, (no shit!), and that it might be cheaper on eBay. Jim sucked it up for the time-being, just in case, but then asked around to see if anyone could recommend a better place to go.

Shocked at the mark-up, both the Help Desk guy and our friend Vlad recommended this little shop called Interior Electronics, which is tucked away on a quiet backstreet, that you'd never think to go down.

First of all, the folks there were soooo friendly and helpful. Such super nice guys. And then, guess how much they wanted for the DVI cord? Yup. Only $15.

We promptly returned the cord to Futureshop and got our money back. What an unbelievable rip off! I can understand a difference of $5, or even $10. But $45? Honestly! That's insane.

Rose

I've had a few very nice phone calls and emails lately with a couple friends who I haven't heard from in a long while. All three conversations have been very honest, almost heart-to-heart type exchanges, and it  makes me feel so blessed to have such a rich tapestry of friends woven through my life. Even if we don't speak to each other every day - or for a couple years! - it's a wonderful uplifting sensation to take a moment to thank someone and let them know how much they really affected you.

At some point in my life, all three of these relationships have played a part in helping me discover who I am, in one subtle way or another. They are not my oldest friends, or even my bestest friends, but their words, their actions, or even just their presence changed something in me.

So, over the last two weeks, I've finally had a chance to acknowledge and thank them for it. It's also incredibly cool to hear how I affected their lives in one way or another as well. It feels good. Very good.

Thorn

I need my hair cut. Desperately. The ends are all uneven and I can't stand to look at 'em. I've got to make an appointment. Maybe this week? The only thing is the last time I saw my hairdresser, (like over 6 months ago! Eek!), she told me to promise to bring my wedding photos in at my next appointment. (I know, I know... I still haven't printed them off yet. It just hasn't been a priority.)

Because of this, I've been procrastinating making an appointment. Then in the meantime, my hair has probably grown a foot. (Really, I think my hair grows twice as fast as most people's. Even my hair dresser is always amazed, and I'm sure she sees her fair share of mousy roots.) So now my ends are starting to look all yucky. Not split-endy. But still, not very nice.

Maybe I should shave it all off and start over? I would do it for cancer research. The only thing holding me back is I don't want to be Jim's twin. Ha. Although really, that is a life goal of mine... to be Jim's twin. Ha ha. Kidding....

No, seriously, someday I'd like to shave my hair off to raise money for cancer. It just seems like such a brave thing to do. I worked with a young gal who did it when I was in college, and she had the most gorgeous thick, curly blond hair. I totally admired her guts.

Either that, or at the very least, I'd like to donate my hair to make wigs. I'll likely end up doing the latter, since they only need 8 to 10 inches. While no organization will accept dyed hair to make children's wigs, there are a few that will accept dyed hair for adult wigs, as long as the hair is in good condition... which mine usually is... except at the moment. :P

Okay, clearly I've yammered on long enough. Must be making up for lost time, I guess... So I'll end this here!

Keanu Reeves paternity suit denied by Ont. judge

Keanu Reeves paternity suit denied by Ont. judge

Oh my goodness, have you heard about this? I have to admit that it made me laugh out loud when I read this yesterday. And because I still find myself chuckling at it today, I thought I'd share.

Actually, now I feel bad.... I probably shouldn't be giggling at this woman... in many ways I feel sorry for her. Clearly she cannot be motivated by greed alone. She is obviously suffering from some sort of mental illness to take her case this far. I speculate that she must also have a terrible support group of greedy friends and relatives who would encourage her to do so. Unless she is simply ignorant to their words of caution? Quite possible.

The only other far-out option is that perhaps she conceived these children with a Keanu Reeves impersonator, thinking that he was the real deal? Then again, the comment that Reeves could have used hypnosis to manipulate the paternity results, leads me to believe that she probably is a few cards short of a deck. Unless of course the impersonator was a hypnotist on the side? Hey... why not?

Canadian-born Keanu Reeves has vehemently denied ever having met Karen Sala, whose paternity lawsuit against the actor was rejected Thursday by an Ontario judge. (Darren Calabrese/Canadian Press)

An Ontario judge has dismissed a paternity suit against actor Keanu Reeves.

Karen Sala alleged that Reeves was the father of her four adult children and was seeking $3 million a month in spousal support and $150,000 a month in retroactive child support.

A judge in Barrie, Ont., threw the case out Thursday, saying Sala's allegations were "so incredible" that no reasonable judge would accept them.

Judge Fred Graham said any trial would be "a waste of limited judicial resources."

A DNA test showed Reeves was not the father of Sala's adult children, who are between 21 and 25 years old.

But Sala questioned the validity of the test, raising the possibility of tampering and suggesting that Reeves could have used hypnosis to affect the results.

"I do know for a fact that he is the biological father," Sala, who represented herself, told the judge, adding that she had proof but could not show it to the court.

Sala claimed she had a sexual relationship with Reeves, that they lived together and that he was present at the birth of three of her children.

Reeves, who grew up in Toronto before leaving for Hollywood in 1986, has repeatedly denied ever having met Sala.

The 45-year-old actor starred in the popular Matrix films as well as Speed and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Poladroid

Remember back in the day, the fun fascination we all had with Polaroid cameras? Wasn't it just super cool to take a picture and then "instantly" see the results in just under 5 minutes?

You'd shake it. (Even though the makers of Polaroid film later issued a press release when Outkast's Hey Ya song hit the charts, insisting that Polaroid photos do not need to be shaken in order to develop). And then you'd sit there and stare with anticipation as the ghostly image slowly took shape. And if the process was taking too long, you'd shake it again.

Alas, despite it's retro charm, Polaroid film was finally laid to rest just over a year ago.

But just because you can't find Polaroid film in stores, doesn't mean that you can't enjoy the same softly blurred, over-exposed, oddly-tinted fun.

Check out Poladroid ! Just download the application and then drag n' drop your fav photos into the poladroid camera on your desktop. It's too easy... and too much fun (if you happen to have some extra time on your hands, like I do...)

Here are a few samples...

My nephew David, looking very mischievous outside the Chinchilla cage. Love that sickly green hue.

Then there's his sister Josie, copping some attitude in the Christmas threads we sent her.

Now, we can't forget the other side of the family ~ Shayla n' Libby! With Libby posing as Princess Leah, this photo could almost be mistaken from one taken during Polaroid's heyday. Of course, I'm sure costumes weren't as nice back then. I seem to recall wearing a snowsuit under a cheap plastic dress, along with a tight mask that would grow moist with the condensation from my breath, as I trudged my way from house to house. Ah yes, not all retro memories are quite so endearing.

Alright, then there's Heather n' I pretending to be men, who are pretending to be women. We painted each other's faces after being inspired by a make-up challenge on an episode of RuPaul's briefly-lived reality drag queen show. Oh, you shush! Admit it... you're just jealous that we have the most fun. ;)

Jim pretending to enjoy his cheese fondue when we were in Switzerland. It was gross! But I'll tell you what's not gross... this photo! I don't know what it is about cheese fondue that just looks so 70's... especially when the pic is a Polaroid.

Okay, and just two more...

How about our cab driver in San Diego. I mean, as we all know SD is huge, right? And yet, of all the crazy odds, we got the same cabbie twice! She was so interesting and unique that I had to take her picture.  I think her face belongs on a Polaroid.

Last one... just a simple display of fireworks. (Because I think I've tried enough faces for today.)

How fun! How can you not be tempted to try a photo or two of your own? It's like a distant second from owning a real Polaroid camera.

Sure, Polaroid film might be retired, but as long as there's Poladroid, the legend of "fast" developing, softly blurred, over-exposed, oddly-tinted photos will forever live on in our hearts and our online albums.

You're Damned If You Do & You're Damned If You Don't!

The following are just two quick blurbs from my weekly Grist newsletter. As grim as it is, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. Sigh. You really are damned if you do and damned if you don't. I guess we all have to pick our battles in life, don't we?

For the meat-eaters...

Ammonia-Treated Burgers, Tainted With E. Coli!

Two-thirds of hamburgers consumed in the U.S. contain a filler made of scraps from the slaughterhouse floor, which are ground into a paste and washed with ammonia. (Mel's two cents - EWWWW!) If that sounds gross, get this: despite the chemical bath, the filler still often carries E. coli and other nasty pathogens. Read more...

Of course this is U.S.-based info, so hopefully in the great white north, we're a little safer. Maybe?

And now, for you veg heads...

Soybeans Threaten Amazon Rainforest

Some 3,000 years ago, farmers in Eastern China domesticated the soybean. In 1765, the first soybeans were planted in North America. Today the soybean occupies more U.S. cropland than wheat. And in Brazil where it spread even more rapidly, the soybean is invading the Amazon rainforest. Read more...

Actually, if you read the full article, you'll discover that this actually applies a lot to meat-eaters as well - so really, no one is immune to our growing footprint. To summarize:

* 1/10th of soybeans go into making tofu, meat-like products, and soy sauce

* 1/5th goes into making oil

* And then the remainder, roughly 70%, goes into making a soybean meal to be consumed by livestock and poultry, because it boosts the efficiency with which they convert grain into animal protein.

I guess it's like they say, the only real solution to reducing our ecological footprint is to do our best to maintain a local diet.

Maybe that should be another one of my goals for 2010.

Dreams, Goals and Desires - Part Deux

Well, I certainly spoke too soon about the weather, didn't I?  It hasn't stopped snowing since we got up this morning to the scrape-scrape-scraping sound of someone shoveling the walkway. It's a complete white-out out there! I can't even see the mountain across the street that I described in yesterday's post.

Anyhow, before I begin with my dreams, goals and desires list, I thought I'd go on a complete tangent here and share that a few moments ago, Jim n' I finally scratched all our tickets from Christmas and his birthday, and have walked away with a grand total of $68 and a free ticket.  Whoo! You should've seen Jim jolt in surprise when he scratched the $50. We're so use to $2 here, and if we're really lucky, $5 there, so it was pretty cool. :)

Okay, and now returning back to the subject at hand...

After giving it some thought, I don't think my dreams and desires will really change that much for 2010... there's still a lot of work to be done from where I left off last year. Even so, I'll include them here in my list, as well as my new goals for the year, which I'm going to try to make a bit more ambitious than last year's.

Dreams

* To become an established writer.
To me, the definition of "established" means that I can make a comfortable living writing my own stuff, without taking on any additional contract work to help stay afloat longer than funding alone might allow.

* To get our movie made.
Yes, this might seem less of a dream and more of a goal, considering that we are about to enter pre-production. Although, I consider goals to be things I can control, and if you've ever bothered to watch the behind the scenes features for any movie, you'll know that there are always endless external challenges that can postpone the making of a movie for years.

For example, did you know that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button had been in the works since 1988, and yet it didn't hit theaters until Christmas '08. That's twenty years, people!! I don't want unforeseen circumstances to lock DE into a holding pattern for another 16 years.... or even two years for that matter. I want us to make the movie this year.

* To sign Albert Finney as our lead.
Okay, so I'd be satisfied if we got any of our top 5 choices for Donovan. But because we wrote this script with Mr. Finney in mind, obviously it'd be a dream come true to get him on board.

Goals

*  To paint 4 paintings, doubling my goal from last year.

*  To get something published. I've been published before, but for personal reasons, I asked for the article to go uncredited. This time, I want to see something I've written in print, with my name attached.  I don't care where.

*  To take better care of my health by...

1. Drinking more water.
I want to try for 6 - 8 glasses a day.  If I'm going to be honest with myself, right now I probably only average between 2 - 4.

2. Exercise more often.
In other words, go for a walk or work out at home at least 3 times a week. I've gotten incredibly sloth-like over this last year and haven't been getting out for walks or using my weights nearly as often as I should.

3. Do a complete cleanse twice a year.
Again, I've become so lazy about my health, I didn't do a single cleanse last year, and usually I'll do one. This year, I want to to do two.

4. Speak with a holistic nutritionist about maintaining a proper vegetarian diet.
As I may have mentioned before, my biggest beef (no pun intended) with meat is the factory farming. So I'll still eat fish on the rare occasion as a source of protein, because fish aren't tortured the same way as other animals are. However, when I really think about it, the truth is I don't particularly enjoy eating fish. Then, of course, I feel like a jerk because I've indirectly caused something to feel pain, suffocate and die, just so I can eat it when I don't even love the taste that much.  (Taste-wise, I'd swap chicken for fish any day! I mean, who wouldn't?) So yeah, I think I'd like to speak with someone about how I can follow a proper vegetarian diet, and eliminate all meats and meat by-products without doing so unhealthfully.

* Travel to...

1. Somewhere tropical
2. Back to Ontario

Obviously, I'd love to go back to Europe, but financially, I just don't see that happening this year. I'd like to keep my goals somewhere within reach. That being said, I think a cheap all-inclusive trip to the sunny south (I've never been anywhere more tropical than San Diego), and a nice visit with friends n' family will do me just fine for now, if we can swing it.

* Volunteer.

I use to have my name on a local volunteer's list, so that whenever there was an organization or event in town looking for volunteers, they'd call me up. While I might not do that again, (I don't like unexpected phone calls and I always have a hard time saying no), I do think that I want to look into doing some volunteer work somewhere. Either environment-related or maybe working with seniors. Ideally, I've love to do crafts or painting with seniors... but I don't know if you need qualifications for something like that? I'll look into it...

Desires

* To be more in tune with my higher self.
Same as last year, but this year, I'm gonna try harder. I want to devote more time towards meditating and I want to get a day timer, because it really does help by forcing me to reflect every single day.

Okay, and that's it. So now that I've put it out there, I'll stuff this away and try not to think too hard about it until next year. Then in January '11, we'll see how I've done.